Possibly Impossible…

We search for hope, we conquer our own fear, we cling to our faith, and we strengthen our core of curiosity. There are too many things I want in my life. I guess life isn’t as easy as what we wish it could ever be. After a long period of time, we sail but when it dawn, we have to find our way back. EDU 3217 will be a history for me. Learning about drama in Dr Edwin class can be the most boring thing as I’m not a good reader of Shakespearean play. Somehow I feel uneasy; I sat on my desk with peculiar expression. It almost comes to an end and I have to admit that I have learned a lot, indeed really a lot.
I never heard of Electra or Oedipus complex before. I never heard of stage directions and so forth. I’ve learned it now and it will become a part of my memory. I don’t know what is wrong with me. They said that Dr Edwin will not teach us for the next semester. I don’t want to be really mushy but I think, he really taught us well. In sense that I get to know such a good lecturer and he did his best to entertain us. Thank you for the teaching part but his immature jokes sometimes can hurt people another but, most of the time it won us over.
Looking back what he had taught us, I hope that I can score high mark for my final exam. As usual hopes remain hopes if there is no determination to improve ourselves. Anyway, I’m still hoping because that is the only quality that I have inside of me. We have to compare three different plays for the final and I need to prepare for it and claim that I have master it even if I don’t. One thing for sure, past is just like a broken mirror, you may admit that it was broken but the fact that each piece of the glass still reflect light that embrace through it. That is what I think about things that we have learned before. We may forget but the tiny mechanism or rather memory that we had preserved will eventually embedded and we will start to remember what we may have forgotten in our recollection of past. I really enjoyed my previous lesson with Dr Edwin and no matter how hard for me to let it go, it just won’t because our memory is solid and it will never fade away.

Reaching the Star, One more step to the ladder…

Last week was my second micro teaching for Mr Harold. I was nervous as hell because it was freaking cold. The ac (air-conditions) really hit my nerves system. We were asked to cut short our lesson because the inconvenience reasoning. Anyway, I guess I have done my best. My pre-reading activity was quite simple and I guessed it will help students to improve themselves. For my while- reading activity, I thought that group activity would be fun. I asked my students to come out with a graphic organizer about the play that we have been discussing about.
Throughout the session, I have found my own strengths and weaknesses. I don’t think that I can connect myself with the students. I found that I get nervous really quick but I think that just for the beginning and because I cannot concentrate on my lesson as Mr Harold was watching me all the time. For me, I felt uncomfortable as people judging me so I can’t help but try my best to act like I really teach students just like in a real classroom.
After all, I was blessed that my sore throat was gone and I can project my voice really well. The point of mock teaching really serve it purpose as I gain my confidence beside I’ve learn the lesson of how to overcome my nervous breakdown. Sometimes, in our life, there are things that we regretted of doing it but I believe that regret is more than an option. We may have done a lot of serious mistakes but I guess that is how I learn and bit by bit we discover the true nature of life. Micro-teaching is a good way for us, especially teacher in making because it encompasses our fear and conquers our emotion so we won’t face it in a real situation. It is more like we learn how to make it perfect and someone with experienced will judge us to improvise our errors.
I really am grateful that we have finished our micro-teaching. That’s mean that we actually through it and nothing really bad happened. My fear was what if Mr Harold doesn’t really like my presentation. Anyway, I guessed it went really well. It such a great experience for me and I really hope we can have it for the next semester.

Blogging…Between Fantasy and Reality.

I wonder for the past few months, what the heck I have done so far? Time passes too fast and in a blink of eyes, my second semester in UPM almost comes to an end. Few weeks left and all I can do is start to think what I have learned and reflect whether it brings me harm more than good. For EDU3217, we have to blog about our experiences and seriously, I guess it is a little odd because blog should be more like a diary so it shouldn’t be so formal. Anyway, I have learned how to make it look formal and normal and the same time. I find out that blogging is far better than doing online forum because you have your own space and people (followers) can really comment freely on your blogs.

Blogging is more like a whole new way to see or rather echo your feelings or thoughts so I really believe that this is one way for students to voice up their view about the course. Most importantly, it is way better than keeping a journal because that is what I’ve done before in Maktab and I thought sometimes we should try to modernize something so it will become more interesting and fancy. Adding a little spice to unflavoured curry is one of the tricks my mum used to tell me. Maybe, implementing blog to reflect learning process is a very good idea in sense students can sit and enjoy their free time blogging without thinking of notepad or pen.

For me, we (young adults) spend few hours in front of their pc or laptop so why not blogging. It such a wonderful idea besides learning about how to increase our computerization skills is not bad either. I love the fact that at least we try something new so we could use it in our future adjustment. Learning new things is more like eating, you will never know unless you’ve try and if you don’t try, you will never know how it’s taste and why people like it so much. See you then.

The Next Big Thing!

Last Monday, I was given a chance to meet our famous Kee Thuan Chye. The meeting was short but it was an interesting one. I was being attentive throughout the session. I’ve learned a lot. We barely know what we will become in future. I mean Kee Thuan Chye was just a normal kid who enjoyed reading literary texts and he appeared to be someone else. He is someone who stands for what he believes in and it such a great reminder for us to always believe in ourselves. I mean he shows great affection towards what he loves and it pays off. He actually gets what he is looking for so now, it should start to think about what I like and pursue my own interest.

Kee Thuan Chye talked a lot about political issues in Malaysia and for god’s sake, I don’t know anything. I’m barely know whoever work in political sectors so I’m just nodding throughout the session even though I don’t know what the hell was he talked about. Anyway, it such a great deal to listens to someone very knowledgeable and he talked a bit about his background during the earlier session and I am thrilled. He was trying his best and I shouldn’t say anything else except bravo. He really deserves what he own now and probably, his writing are all provocative. There are things to argue about but at the same time it educates us by looking thoroughly within our social context. I’ve learned a lot that day and thank a lot to Dr Edwin for inviting someone very dear to our heart.

After all, I have learned that life isn’t easy. You have to learn how to take risk and fight for what you think is right. Last but not least, he really am grounded I’m mean he may be the star but he never act like one but place himself among the others. He such a humble person even though he can claim that he is so over us. Great attitude!

New Beginning...Not Bad!

Learning, adapting and reflecting what I have done so far change me a lot. I’ve learned that you have to take some risk and befriend not only with others but yourself in order to succeed. I started my micro-teaching lesson with Mr Harold Pong. It was very nice. Perhaps, I realized that I failed it because I can’t get away with my nerves system. I started to lose focus when I get nervous.

Then, I have this unusual habit of moving my hands whenever I get nervous but I tried to control it as much as I don’t want my classmates to realize that I am nervous right at that moment. Another great thing I’ve learned during that set induction micro-teaching was class control was very important as a great teacher should by hook or by crook need to learn how to do that. There were certain things which I wasn’t sure I can handle it for example it’s really hard for me to project my voice when the students were busy talking so what did I do at that time was shouting but not so loud. Anyhow, there are reasons why teacher shouldn’t shout a lot; first you don’t want to end up screaming like crazy and secondly, we should be able to attract student’s attention during set induction because that is the most important part in our teaching.

For me, set induction should be attractive, nice, and develop students’ interest so they won’t get bored for the entire lesson. Mr Harold commenting on my slide show and he said, the font wasn’t clear so maybe I can do something about it. Another lesson I’ve learned, last minute preparation sucks! Better get ready earlier then.

Wonder, Miracle, and Phenomenon

Learning Sophocles of “Oedipus Rex” make me wonder that what will happen to this world if Teiresias or oracle exist in this world, someone who have the eyes of god who can look upon the future. Teiresias once told that happen to have two genders male and female. In Greek mythology, Teiresias hit a pair of mating snake so Hera, Zeus’s wife turn him into women. Lady Teiresias possessed the power of prophecy so she can predict what will happen in the future. After seven year he change into women, he again found a pair of mating snakes and this time, he let it go. As a result, he was released from the curse and regains his masculinity. He then reveal the secret of women as he experienced it before that men only pleasure one over ten but women enjoy the greater pleasure after all. Hera mad at him and once again she cast a curse and struck him with blindness. Zeus can’t do anything but he did give him with the power of foresight to tell future or something the eyes can’t see. His power of foresight comes in different shape such as vision. Sometimes birds will eventually whisper to his ears about the information of prophecy because he also given the power to communicate with animal and so he used his gift to foretell future.
Later, when we read about Oedipus the king, he was accused of killing his own father Laios. The oracle, ’Teiresias’ predict that the plague happened to be Oedipus fault but he refused to say it at first but after he was threatened by the king himself, he couldn’t speaking anything else but the truth. Teiresias character is very powerful as he capture the moment where he know what is happening and what is going to happen. The symbolism of human power is rather blasphemy because he cannot see but he can tell what more than eyes can ever do. Indeed if the power fall to a wrong hand that cannot handle it and it might be a bad thing if human can discover what will happen next because we always want good thing to happen.

Script Writing

Learning drama and trying to adapt it by writing our own play is not easy. Throughout the process, we learned that cooperation is one of the key factors to write a good play beside genuine idea and authenticity of thought can be the most important factor that leads to our success. Overall, we have been trying to come out with our own idea that simple and readable. I was the one who give the idea about “Jar of wishes” and that is because in my entire life, I have never try to eat fortune cookies. I really want to eat once at least so this is my own interpretation based on my own self. My friends later contribute more ideas before we start writing the script.
Later I think it will be good if we can have characters that define our background so multicultural background was one of a kind that people looking forward to read. Here, we want the student to appreciate the differences between each race or religions and the arrival of understanding to create a better understanding about Malaysian culture. I also learned that writing a script can actually broadened your view as you are not reading anymore but trying to start writing and seek for audience reactions whether our play is good or not. Frankly speaking, I was nervous as hell. Writing a script that based on your own understanding isn’t exactly what I’m looking forward to. I wanted to express myself but at the same time the reader have to be please or in another word they can understand the message that you are trying to convey. So far, I really hope that this will be a good start for me, but then I don’t know whether what I have done so far is worth a try because for me the play that you produce resembles who you really are.

Dance Like There Is No Tomorrow

Every day, we’ve been through a lot of things. Sometimes you like it; sometimes you don’t even want it to happen. That is life. What I have been through was unbearably a lot. Especially when you live in a freaking small village with no internet connection (they have it but lame server). When I was little (I mean really), my father used to take me watching Mak Yong. I was born in Kelantan so literally, whether I like it or not, I used to watch all these kind of pathetic shows but later I really missed them. I did watched Main Puteri, Wayang Kulit, and Mak Yong, long time ago. Right now, I didn’t know where all those beautiful memory of mine gone and the shows gone too. People started to look as if all these dances and art as sinful or sometimes against the religion practices so they were disappeared. Frankly speaking, I don’t understand why. Why must we abundant ourselves with a lot of thoughts about religion practices. If we stick to the religion but at the same time enjoy all these traditional art performances, I guess the issue is not there. Come on! Long time ago(during 1920), Mak Yong was a royal performances wherever the Sultan heard about beautiful Mak Yong dancers, they will be called and performed in front of him. They will be given paddy field and their foods or drinks will be taking care of. I still remember when Mak Yong dancers dancing gracefully, some audience will get on stage and dancing with them. I don’t think there is such thing right now. Now, you watch people dancing but not intentionally go on stage and started to dance with them unless you want to get caught. One main reason why Mak Yong was disappeared because people look down morally on Mak Yong dancers because they were wearing beautiful clothes and beautifully crafted ornaments so a lot of men are falling for them. They were being accused of doing bad things so the dancers stop performing and the numbers were decreasing drastically. That was what I’ve heard. I don’t know whether it is true or not but Malay have these belief “Tak tumbuh tak melata, tak sungguh orang tak kata”, which suggest that whatever we hear is always true or else why people talking about it. I may have a doubt but what I hope is people can accept it again because we are not stupid. We have our boundaries and as long as we practice our religion, I don’t see that entire problem coming. Living in this world seems fine, but people always make small thing big. Anyway, UNESCO already registered Mak Yong as one of the world heritage, and I can’t say anything but give a round of applause to those who really work their a** to make these happen again. That’s even better. Memories aren’t supposed to fade and that is why they called it memory. Hmm…

LIFE’S A BLAST

Lately, I find a lot difficult to concentrate in my study since. I stay awake at night because I simply cannot sleep and the worse part is I can’t focus what the lecturers are talking about. My mind keeps spinning and I need to get over it. Gosh, attending Dr Edwin 2nd class in inappropriate manner (I can’t get over my sleepy head) is rather complicated. Anyway, I have a lot of fun this semester, drama isn’t exactly my favourite one but sometimes it can be quite interesting. Our first assignment is one of my favourite one. Compare to writing an essay, writing a short play or drama can be very interesting. We don’t have to crack our head to write 5 pages essay but the fact is drama require your creativity. Well, I’m not a very creative person but I love doing something that don’t require my brain to work extra hard, but relating more to my personal experience and create something that extra ordinary is rather classy and sophisticated. It is more like a piece of art and I love it. During Dr Edwin class, we learned how to analyze characters and if you want to judge someone, you may need to look further rather than stick on their personality trait. Sometimes, we have to do some research about their background and the way they express themselves. Kind of lame but it was interesting. I swear it is. Then for our tutorial class, Mr Harold taught us how to get into the character especially when you presenting the characters. Reading is essentially enough but if you get into the character, the whole play will be more lively, presentable and extraordinary. Put some expression into it, anger, sombre, sad, and happy and exaggerate it for the audience to notice. During the activity, I think I did quite well. I hope so but maybe different people interpret different way. Life’s a blast, I thought this boredom can lead me to an end, but life is more than what you ever think of. Maybe this is not the end, because maybe this is just the beginning…..

Slightly Tensed

Looking back few weeks back before everybody start watching new year celebration on tv, sitting on the couch, and laughing hard that new year is coming. Unluckily, within a blink of eye, it was past 2008 and the next thing I know, I went to Dr Edwin class. The 1st one to be exact. First thing come to my bizarre and unconventional mind is loads of assignments. Today, I learned a lot about the history of drama. 2nd, I discovered that there so much thing that I need to learn about it and definitely, I learned new terms and strange play writers that I don't have any idea where were they came from. Anyway, I did a play in my foundation years so maybe there would not be a problem for me to deal with it. I hope so...Or maybe, this time I have to put extra effort because I'm not into play because it sounded mushy. By the way, we did learned about oedipus and elektra complex. Kinda interesting because I didn't know that it really happen, I mean they really exist. In my entire life, I use to think that drama are just about acting and producing something but today I learn diffrent aspects of drama. I used to read Robinson Crusoe in secondary school but the fact is I don't know that it was title with the first novel ever. I really need to learn a lot but it does not hurt to realise that maybe I can spare more time reading and doing little research on my own about drama. One thing for sure, don't over indulge yourself into study, I mean take your time, don't rush. Maybe that is my new year resolution. Stop rushing cause you ain't get nothing. To my dearest coursemate, get your head up in the game, read chapter 15 on Tan Kee Aun play, and if you get tired, take a break or simply eat some chocolates. It help. Heading to my bed and get some sleep. Bye.